


Not Enough

by kayleighbug



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Gen, I wanted to try writing angst, Identity Reveal, important dialogue, now with slightly less depressing part 2, rooftop shouting match, self doubts, so here is that attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-08
Updated: 2016-05-09
Packaged: 2018-06-07 05:46:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6788128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kayleighbug/pseuds/kayleighbug
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Don't say that."<br/>"What?"<br/>"Don't say that you love me."</p><p>After discovering Chat Noir's identity, self-doubt consumes Ladybug.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Shout Your Doubts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I write a lot of fluff, so I thought I might try writing angst for once.

Ladybug had discovered Chat Noir's identity by accident, but instead of being pleased that the two boys she had feelings for were the same person, it absolutely destroyed her.

She had been an emotional mess all week. At school, most people just figured she wasn't sleeping well because she stayed up late working on designs. Alya had noticed something was wrong, but she chose to let Marinette have her space until she wanted to talk about it.

Tikki had tried to cheer her up, but it had been all in vain. Marinette was drowning in self-doubt and confusion, and it didn't seem like anyone was going to be able to pull her out of it.

Her actions as Ladybug had been affected, too. There had been two akuma attacks since she had discovered his secret, and she and Chat had hardly spoken during either.

Chat had noticed her odd behavior, and had dropped his act of puns and flirting to let her work through her somber mood without being annoyed. However, he became concerned after the second attack that something was seriously wrong, and asked to meet up for patrol later that night. She agreed.

When Ladybug landed next to him on the roof of Notre Dame that night, she knew she wasn't going to be able to keep what she knew from him for much longer.

"Hey, Bugaboo!" he greeted. The lights from the city shined behind him, making it look like there was a golden halo surrounding him. He was sitting on one of the flat roofs of the cathedral, and the slight breeze coming off the Seine a short distance away only added to his angelic aura.

Chat was slightly slumped and playing with his tail, seeming a little on edge. Maybe it was because he sensed her nervousness, or maybe it was because he was truly worried about her behavior.

"Hey, Chat." Her reply was weak, so he motioned for her to sit next to him.

They sat in silence for a while, overlooking the city. Chat was fidgeting like he was trying to come up with what to say, but when he stilled, she knew he had figured it out.

"Are you okay?"

Ladybug sighed in response and pulled her legs up to hug her knees. Resting her head on her knees where she couldn't see him, she considered her answer. Her options were to either try to pretend that nothing was bothering her, or just tell him and get it over with.

Something made her decide to choose the latter.

"I know who you are, Chat Noir. Under the mask." She looked up at him while she said it, making sure that he was able to hear her well enough the first time.

That obviously hadn't been what he expected. He wavered slightly, and spluttered, "wh-what?"

"I saw you detransform after an attack. It was completely an accident, but I was on my way home and apparently you decided to go that way, too. I didn't mean to see, but I saw Chat Noir walk behind an advertisement and Adrien Agreste walk out the other end. It was kind of hard to deny it after that." She finished by looking at her hands to avoid his gaze.

He pondered the idea for a second. He figured she had been distraught over the fact that she knew his identity, and that must have been why she was acting a bit off lately. Chat knew she didn't want each other to know because of the problems it might cause with Hawkmoth, but now that she told him, he hoped she would feel a little bit better. He desperately wanted to know who she was, but thought it might be best not to push her just yet.

"Well, this is great!" he exclaimed enthusiastically to help reassure her. "I mean, I know you were worried about what would happen if we knew each other's identities, but we can work through this together—with and without the masks."

"It's not that simple, Chat." Ladybug sighed. "Now I know that you and Adrien are the same person, it just complicates things even more. I had a major crush on Adrien Agreste, but I'm not exactly sure that translates with the same intensity to Chat Noir. I know that's not fair to you, but I don't think knowing this information is a good thing…" She knew she was rambling, but it was hard to express how she felt in this situation.

"It can be that simple, My Lady! If you like both sides of me, even if it's not equally, and both sides like you, I don't see what the problem is. I love you, Ladybug. I'm willing to try if you are."

"Don't say that."

"What?"

"Don't say that you love me."

"But, My Lady…I _do_ love you and—"

"YOU DON'T!" she screamed at him much louder than she intended. "You don't," she repeated as a whisper. Tears were now streaming down her face, moisture becoming trapped between her mask.

Chat just stood there, shocked by her sudden outburst. He opened his mouth, trying to formulate a question that would help him understand, but she cut him off before he even started.

"You are in love with an illusion, Chat Noir. Ladybug, this goddess-like hero of Paris, she's not me! I didn't even want this power! I don't deserve it! Anyone else in the city would have been better than a clumsy teenage girl who couldn't even stand up for herself without someone telling her how to do it!"

"That's not—"

"And just look at you," she continued. "You are literally the most perfect human being on the planet. Did I see it before? No, not in Chat Noir. Do I deserve someone like you? No! So please, Chat, I'm begging you to just let this idea you think you have of me go. It would be better in the long run for both of us."

"I can't do that My Lady," he tried again.

"Don't call me that," she snapped.

"Fine, Ladybug, I'll try not to, but I don't really think you are being fair here. Not to yourself, and certainly not to me."

They had both stood up by that point, and now the yard between them suddenly felt like a mile.

When she didn't reply, Chat decided he might as well continue.

"I think it's you who has a false illusion of me. You see two masks, Ladybug. The mask that my father forced me to wear and the literal mask of the care free hero Chat Noir. Did you even stop to think maybe it's you who doesn't really know _me?_ "

"I know enough," she mumbled.

"Do you really though?" Now it was Chat Noir who felt anger bubbling within him. "How can you claim to know me so well? Why are you so quick to pass judgment for the both of us, without even telling me your identity?"

"You are obviously the world's greatest multitasker," she started, ignoring the last question. "Modeling, fencing, basketball, Chinese, piano, and then you still manage to have time to get perfect grades _and_ be Chat Noir! Who on earth is that skilled?"

"But I don't want to do any of those things!" he yelled. "I want to live my own life, not the one my father decided would be best just because he thought I needed to be sheltered from the world!"

"That doesn't take away from the fact that you still do all those things! Despite everything, you manage to maintain almost perfect attendance and punctuality, you're kinder than any other person I've ever met, and you've managed to keep a sense of child-like wonder despite how much your father has tried to suck it out of you!"

"BUT I'M LONELY!" he yelled at her. His voice was choked as he tried not to sob. "I am only able to do those things because no one is ever around! Do you think I would go through all that if I had a _real_ family? My mom abandoned me, Ladybug, and my father is not much better. But do you know how happy I would be if I was actually _allowed_ to spend time with my friends? You seem to think you know me so well, but did you know I really only have two or three people that are _actually_ friends with me? My life is not as perfect as it appears in a magazine article, and I would give everything to change it and just be _normal_!"

"I didn't know that's how you felt about it," Ladybug muttered in response.

"And I wouldn't expect you to," he said, in a much softer tone than before. "I do everything in my power to hide it. Not even my friends know, not really, but do you see why it's not fair for you to pass judgement for me?"

She nodded, but in her mind, her inconsideration for his feelings only made her believe in her original opinion even more. "That just reaffirms my point, though. I don't deserve someone like you. Just forget about me, Chat Noir. We can work together to beat the akumas, like we always have, but _that's it_. I'm sorry that I found out your identity, and I'm sorry that we argued like this. I guess you were right, I don't really know you. I'm sorry."

Not wanting to stick around any longer, she unhooked her yo-yo and prepared to take off.

Just as she was about to throw it to the next roof, Chat reach forward and grabbed her wrist.

"Who are you?" he asked. "Under the mask."

"You don't want to know," she replied but didn't try to pull away. They were close enough now for her to see the tear tracks on his face.

"Stop playing games," he snarled. His expression hardened as he held her gaze. "Let me make my own decisions without you telling me what I should think. I'm tired of people making my decisions for me!"

She held his gaze for as long as she could and kept her mouth pressed together in a firm line. Seeing that getting upset with her wasn't going to work, he loosed his grip on her wrist so she could run away if she really wanted.

" _Please,_ " he pleaded one final time.

"Why? It's not like you've ever noticed the real me before."

"Then _let me._ "

It might have been because of her already present self-esteem issues, the lack of sleep, or the emotionally charged evening she had—possibly even a combination of all three—but Ladybug broke. She just wanted to get out of there. Her tears, which had stopped only minutes earlier, started flowing again as sobs racked her body.

"She's not someone who deserves to be with you, as Chat _or_ Adrien. A girl who can barely stay on her own two feet, can't talk to her crush at school, a girl who steals people's stuff to hide her own mistakes, has been selected as the target of choice by the school bully, and is so selfish and self-centered that she's caused almost as many akumas as her! What kind of hero causes half the villains she tries to protect the city from? Not a very good one."

"Which akumas?" Chat asked.

"Why does it matter?"

"I just want to know; to help me understand. Are you saying you won't even tell me that?"

"Fine," she sobbed. " _I_ caused Volpina because I was jealous. _I_ caused Gamer because I was selfish. _I_ caused Antibug because of how I felt about Chloé."

She knew she should stop there, but she wasn't even paying attention to the words she was saying anymore.

"And I've played some part in countless others! Alix became Timebreaker because I couldn't even keep hold of her watch like she asked without almost breaking it. Nathanaël became the Evillustrator because he had a crush on _me_ , making him the perfect target for Chloé! Rogercop was because I argued with Chloé and threw everyone else under the bus to cover myself!"

Ladybug ripped her arm from his grasp and threw her yo-yo as she yelled, "I couldn't even stop my own best friend or great-uncle from being akumatized! I'm a terrible hero!"

She seemed to realize that she said too much, and immediately swung away before Chat could react.

"Wait!" he yelled, but obviously she couldn't hear him because she didn't look back. Chat watched as her silhouette slowly disappeared as she moved farther and farther away from him.

"Marinette, wait." He whispered into the night, his voice lost in the wind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this in 20 minutes so please forgive me if there's a ton of mistakes. I might consider making another chapter. The lack of a happy ending is already getting to me.


	2. Make Her See

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A slightly more optimistic end.

Adrien spent hours trying to figure out how to talk to Marinette. He knew what he wanted to say and went over it with Plagg at least three times.

The problem was he wasn't sure how to say it.

He didn't want to bring it up at school. It wasn't a good place in case they started yelling again, and Alya never left Marinette's side. He didn't want Alya to hear about their identities, and he certainly never wanted to see her anger directed at him any time soon.

That was the same reasoning he had when deciding that her house wouldn't be a good place, either.

For his plan to work, he needed to talk to her as Ladybug, but it is very hard to get a superhero to wait and listen to what you have to say when they don't want to hear it.

By luck he didn't know he had, he saw her on the top of the Arc de Triomphe two nights later.

Chat Noir landed next to her as quietly as he could. Ladybug didn't seem to hear him. She was laying on her back, with her eyes closed, but she definitely wasn't asleep.

Chat figured it was now or never.

"You know, out of the three people I consider to really be my friends, you have always been one of them."

Ladybug's eyes shot open, and her arm moved to grab her yo-yo almost faster than he could blink. How did she stand up that quickly?

"Wait!" he cried, and reached out to grab on to her. "Please, just hear me out, alright? You don't have to say anything if you don't want to, but please stay."

She didn't say anything and sat down again. Her back was to him, but Adrien would take it if meant she would stay.

"So, anyways, you are obviously my best friend. I mean, I have a best friend as Adrien, too. Nino is great, but I don't risk my life every day to save the city with him, so it's…different, I guess."

Ladybug made no indication that she was going to make a comment, so Adrien sighed and continued.

"So you guys are two of my three real friends. The other person is actually the one I considered to be my _first_ friend at school."

"Chloé?" Ladybug grumbled.

Chat chuckled, "No. We might have been friends at some point, but I don't think that's the case anymore. She only likes me because of who my father is."

"Oh."

"No, my first friend actually hated me right off the bat for something she thought I did. There was this incident with gum and it was a whole misunderstanding, but I think I made up for it in the end. I let her have my umbrella after school so she wouldn't have to walk home in the rain—later I found out she only lives across the street, but I was glad to help anyways."

It didn't take long for Ladybug to figure out who he was talking about, but let him continue.

"Sometimes I would think that she still hated me, just a little, because she would always run away when I tried to talk to her."

"I'm sure that wasn't it," Ladybug mumbled. Chat nodded.

"Anyways, despite the fact that we don't talk as much as I would like, she's probably my favorite friend. No offense, Ladybug."

He could tell he really had her attention now. She turned herself to where he was now in her peripheral vision. "Really?"

"Yeah," he replied. "She's so amazing. Did you know that she not only made sunglasses for the _Jagged Stone_ , but also designed one of his album covers? I even got her to sign it for me, and it's one of my most prized possessions. I've never met someone so creative in my life, and I spend half my time surrounded by the top fashion designers in the industry."

Ladybug was blushing.

"Speaking of designing, she also managed to impress my father, and let me tell you, that is extremely hard to do. She made this really cool hat inspired by a _pigeon_ of all things!" he laughed at the memory.

"I don't just like her just because of her artistic gift, though," he reassured. "She is also the bravest, kindest, and most considerate person I've ever met. Sure, sometimes she messes up, but that's all part of being human. Like one time, she made someone in our class really upset because she beat him out of his spot in a video game tournament, enough for him to be akumatized."

"Doesn't sound very kind and considerate to me," Ladybug interrupted.

"I wasn't done yet. She realized her mistake at the end though, and even offered to give up her spot despite the fact that she is clearly the best player around."

"She still caused an akuma."

"And you think I haven't? I never told you what caused Copycat to become akumatized because I was ashamed. I lied to him, because I was jealous of his crush on you, and told him that we were together. I never apologized to you, or to him, because I knew how much you dislike liars. My friend would have made sure to apologize right away and admit her mistakes, which makes her a much better person than I'll ever be."

He paused to see if Ladybug was going to react, but she didn't.

"Also, while not directly, Nino became the Bubbler because of me. Alix became Timebreaker because I let Chloé snatch her watch. I didn't stand up for Mylène before she became Horrificator, so that's partially my fault, too."

"That doesn't count."

"I'm not done. It was my kwami that took Chloé's bracelet and caused Rogercop. I didn't say anything when all my classmates were being blamed, and I definitely didn't try to shoulder the blame myself. I didn't even tell you about it, just dropped the bracelet during the fight to make you think it hadn't been missing at all. We all have our faults, Ladybug, and I would never think less of someone just because they've caused a few akumas. Especially you, because a few mistakes are completely countered by all the work you do to stop Hawkmoth and protect the city."

He saw the tears threatening to spill from Ladybug's eyes, but Adrien felt he needed to keep going to try to explain how much she really meant to him.

"Like I said, we all make mistakes. But it's the actions that we do every day that really matter. There's so many things that my friend has done for other people only because of the kindness in her heart. She became class president because she just wanted everyone's voice to be heard, and has stuck by that promise despite her reluctance to run in the first place. She also let me translate for one of her relatives to make sure he was as comfortable as possible while he visited. Plus, I found out yesterday that she made a scarf for my birthday, but let my father take the credit for it even though he stole it because she just wanted to see me happy."

"You found out about that?"

"Alya may have let it slip when she yelled at me," he chuckled. "I just wish I had realized how amazing she is sooner, but I will be the first one to admit I was a little bit blinded by you, Ladybug. Plus, I would have never imagined someone as amazing as her liking a pun-loving, socially awkward nerd like me."

"Don't say that."

"It's true, though! She deserves the pedestal everyone puts her on, even if she doesn't think so, because if there's one thing I know for sure, it's that no one is better suited to protect the city of Paris than Marinette Dupain-Cheng. I just want you to be able to see that too."

Ladybug was crying, but it wasn't the same painful tears that she shed the other night. She turned around to face him completely, and he took that chance to stand up and pull her with him into a hug.

She wrapped her arms around him and cried into his shoulder. "How do I know that you aren't just saying those things because you figured out who I am?"

"I'll prove it to you," he said. Laying his head on top off hers, he whispered, "I'm not just saying those things because I've loved Ladybug since the beginning. I'm not playing a game or trying to manipulate your feelings in the hopes that I'd get the chance to date her. I'm saying them because it physically pains me to see you doubt yourself so much, Marinette. You are what makes everything about Ladybug great, not the other way around. Just because you didn't want to be a hero doesn't take away from the fact that you are one—if anything it makes it even more impressive and proves that you always put others before yourself. It doesn't matter that you've caused a few akumas, and it certainly doesn't matter that you are prone to tripping on your own two feet, because I will always, _always_ be there to catch you."

She didn't say anything for a while, and the two of them just stayed there embracing each other as two broken teenagers with the world on their shoulders, working to get through their problems together.

"Can we start over?" she mumbled. "I'm so sorry for all the things I said to you, but I really want to get to know the real you. If you'll forgive me, that is."

"Of course I forgive you, and I want you to know that I'm here for you too. If you ever need to talk, or rant, or whatever; I'll listen. I'd love it if you would do the same for me, too."

She hummed a confirmation.

He smiled into her hair, "Does this mean I can start making puns again?"

Ladybug laughed for the first time in a week. She pulled back slightly so he could see her roll her eyes at him and said, "If that's what you really want, then I guess I can allow it."

"Well then," he said before he separated them and stepped back into an elaborate bow. "It's a purr-leasure to meet you, I'm Adrien Agreste and Chat Noir. I live a busy life, and it's not always the best, but I manage because it's led to me meeting some truly miraculous people."

Ladybug smiled. "Nice to meet you. I'm Marinette Dupain-Cheng and Ladybug. I can be kind of clumsy, but I guess in the end I always try to do what is right, even if I mess up sometimes."

"Friends?" he asked, holding out his fist.

"Partners," she answered. They fist-bumped before she ran and hugged him again.

 _Maybe one day we can be more_ , they thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to have a happier ending, but I didn't necessarily want to have a "disney movie ending." So I hope this shows that. 
> 
> Thank you all for the kudos and comments, and make sure you check out my other story (and keep your eyes out for a one-shot I'll be posting in about a week) :)


End file.
